One of my best friends from college recently got engaged to one of my other best friends from college. (Yay!) They’ve been together much longer than The Honey and I have been, and one night chitchatting about long-term relationships and marriage got me thinking. Aside from that legal piece of paper, is there really a difference between live-in significant other and a spouse?
This is how I feel about the subject.
The Honey and I were together for almost 4 years before we got married, and had been living together for a couple of those 4 years. Technically, nothing in our daily lives really changed after our vows were swapped, we already knew exactly what we were getting into, no surprises. But what did surprise me was that in reality, that little piece of paper changed EVERYTHING for me.
He was no longer “that guy I’m dating,” but “my family,” and family is forever. Prior to our marriage, every time we had a disagreement, in the back of my mind I knew I had an out if I wanted one. I let the little things bug me, I gave up on us a lot easier. I could leave him, I had other options, etc.
However, after we signed those papers, put on those rings, something happened where I knew I would never want an out. This was the real deal. I felt calm, secure, and at peace. I let the little things slide cause they didn’t matter anymore. For instance, there were things I put my foot down on, things he disliked but I refused to give up, not because these things were really important to me, but rather out of principle. “I will not allow you to tell me what I can or cannot do.” But now, I feel if it bothers him and it’s not a big deal to me, then why be adamant and cause rifts. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a pushover, just means that ‘compromise’ is now one of the most important words in my dictionary.
So marriage did change things for me, emotionally. Our strong relationship grew so much stronger, and my priorities grew to encompass him into it, and I know he feels the same way. We had signed up for this team, it will forever be he and I against the world.
Now that our first child is a mere days away from joining our family, something even stronger switched in me. Weirdly, I’m beginning to understand the works of nature, why the mama bear will rip you to shreds if she feels you are a threat to her cubs. Because that’s how I feel now…the mama bear mentality. I feel the fire in me that will fiercely protect my family, and if you pose a threat to us in any way, I too, will do everything in my power to rip you to shreds.
Things are sort of happening really fast and all at once over here in my world. But it’s good…it’s all good.