I worked in retail for 6 months. I had no experience in sales, and I had too much experience in schooling. Some may say maybe that’s not the best career choice for me. Yet, albeit how hard on the body it was, those 6 months were the most fun out of any job I’ve ever had.
In part it was because I was at the perfect age at the perfect store. It was at a successful local boutique that had several stores throughout the city, but still felt more like a local small business than a corporate conglomerate. And I was in my early 30s.
For the customers in their 20s, I was young and hip enough to seem like their cool older sister. For the customers in their 40s and above, I was mature enough to understand their tastes, yet young enough to make them feel younger themselves. And for women in my age range…well, I’ve worked corporate, I’ve traveled the world, I’ve lived in so many metropolises, that I am like the best friend in the dressing room that will tell you, “No, those jeans make your hips look wide,” or, “You will be able to walk all day in these pumps, lady,” and they know I’m right. The cherry on top of all this is that I’m a new mom, as are so may of the customers. And yes, I am well versed on what the problem areas are for a woman who carried a child, and how best to camouflage that.
I moved quickly through the ranks during those 6 months, and at one point, I thought maybe my dream is to own a similar boutique of my own.
But then I moved back to the East coast, and reality set in that retail just didn’t pay enough for the lifestyle that I wanted to lead. So I returned to my own field, and though I feel so fulfilled in the work that I do now…I will always look back on those 6 months fondly. Wow, what an amazing time I had.
It’s not necessarily the decor that I love, but the fact that peering outside the windows, I know it’s a city I’d love living in.
True story. I won’t call you names or criticize you for who you support. I won’t march in the streets with #NotMyPresident signs. And I won’t spread hatred and divide our country even more. What’s done is done and we must unite and organize in this scary, unpredictable time. And the best thing I can do for my country right now, is to educate my son, not just in math and reading and writing, but by setting an example, how to be fair, how to have compassion, how to treat women with respect, how to help people in need, how to view everyone as equal, how not to judge and condemn, how not to be ignorant, egotistical, and superior, but above all, how to be kind. Because it’s not just up to the president to make America great again. It’s up to us.
Money and power could mean a lot to a lot of women, but even money and power could not make me stoop to this low.
And I’m going to start off my return by listing things that make me happy.
- Finding Forever Homes for cats and kittens.
- When Dragon tells me he loves me unprompted.
- Catching rare Pokémon.
- Ordering things off Amazon Prime.
- Falling asleep to the sound of rain.
What makes you happy?
Husband asked me if I was excited and I replied I was more nervous.
So he said, “Why? What’s the worst that can happen? You get fired?”
“No, the worst that can happen is that they don’t like me!”
#mygreatestfear #pleaselikeme #leapyear
Cause I do.
I’m not Christian, or Catholic, or whatever religion there is out there that believes in God.
I’m not a disciple. I don’t read the Bible. I don’t set rules and regulations for myself (or others). I don’t post quotes from the Book on social media. I don’t shove my faith down people’s throats.
But I believe in God. I pray to him when I am scared, when I am confused, when I am sad. I thank him when I am happy, when things fall in place, when I overcome an obstacle. I have a private journey with him and I’ve never commented on it til now.
Cause I’m tired of people using their faith to be narrow minded.
I’m tired of people using their faith to judge others.
But most of all, I’m tired of people using their faith to be lazy.
“I don’t need to worry. I don’t need to plan. I don’t need to do anything cause I believe He already has a plan. I just need to sit on my lazy ass and He will work things out for me.”
No, honey. That’s bullshit. That’s a cop out. That’s a lazy person justifying their laziness.
Is there really a God? I can’t be sure. Does He really already have a plan for us? I can’t be sure. But I can be sure that if you continue sitting on your lazy ass waiting for a handout from “God,” you not only will never achieve anything great, you will never achieve anything at all.
I met a new friend recently and when I told her about my education background, she said, “That is so brave of you, to just up and leave everything and everyone you know and move half way around the world.”
But she’s wrong. There’s a difference between being brave and being fearless. Being brave is to overcome something you’re afraid of and forging ahead. Being fearless is to not even realize you’re afraid. I was the latter. I was 22 and I was fearless.
Now I’m in my 30s, mother of a young child, and I. Am. Afraid. Of. Everything.
20s and turbulence: Woohoo! This is like a roller coaster!
30s and turbulence: If something happens to the plane, I won’t be able to protect my son.
20s and health: Eh, whatever I have will most likely resolve itself.
30s and health: OMG, WhatIsThisAmIGoingToDie, what if Dragon loses his mother.
20s and safety: Fast driving, fast talking, fast drinking, fast fast fast.
30s and safety: We’re almost at the speed limit, can you slow down? There’s a child in the car.
You get the picture.
Now I’m looking to retire my role as a full-time Mommy and sniffing around for positions in the workforce again, and I realize this fearless/fearful situation is even revealing itself in something as simple as sitting in front of the computer and searching LinkedIn.
Straight out of grad school, I only applied for jobs that I was waaaaay under qualified for. “What have I got to lose?” was the mentality and my ego was gigantic. And looking back, I’m seeing that ego can be cleverly disguised as confidence, and confidence (along with skills obviously) wins over interviewers.
This go around, I find myself mostly applying for jobs I am over qualified for. The nagging voice in my head constantly undermines myself. “How are you going to explain the gap between employment?” “Will being a SAHM for awhile make me less desirable?” “What if I lost my touch?”
What ifs plaque my mind.
Is this an age thing? Maybe something that comes with the territory of becoming a parent? Or is it just me? Have I just gotten soft?
Dragon (in bed in the dark) to Georgie: Don’t be a messy messy messy boy. Just clean up with a napkin.
Dragon: Why are our heads hard?
Me: Cause we’re really smart.
Me to Husband: Hey baby, (blah blah blah)
Dragon: Why you call him a baby. He’s not a baby, he’s Daddy.
Me: He’s your Daddy, but he’s not my Daddy.
Dragon: Yeah, he’s your brother.